Last night I found myself studying from one of the methods I recently won on eBay. I had placed a bid on someone's old lot of easy oboe study stuff. When I received it I was disappointed because it seemed almost too easy. Funny how things can change in a matter of days... It's only easy if I'm blatantly disregarding sound and expression.
After working on long tones and scales for about 45 minutes I opened up one of the books. It felt tedious for about 5 seconds and then I decided that I would try to make it sound as pretty as I can. That's when it got interesting.
I was surprised at how I relished going back almost all the way to the beginning. I thought I'd be upset, but I wasn't at all. I was kind of happy! Even though I was playing things I could have played a few months ago, I am much more aware of what I am doing now. Yes I could have played this back in February but I know it wouldn't have sounded the same then. I have no business trying to play something technically challenging if I can't make "Auld Lang Syne" sing. That being said I did play through the Handel once and worked on cleaning up some troublespots.
I am happy that I am back to working on becoming an oboist, rather than someone who happens to know how to play xyz piece on the oboe. I'm playing for keeps this time and I have to keep reminding myself that I need to look out for what's best for Luna and me.