Monday, June 16, 2008

From now on

Ok. I feel soooooooooooo much better now that I am nice and updated. I really do want to keep this up to date in terms of my big three (baby, music, school). It will be interesting to have this journey chronicled.

As Alanis enters her third month of life I will update with stories and pictures.

In terms of school, orientation starts on August 18th. I will be attending my alma mater since it is walking distance to my parent's apartment. Both Mom and Dad have agreed to babysit for me while I'm at school. Dad is still the more enthusiastic one, but Mom is finally on board as well. Though it is the best possible care situation, I can't even think about leaving my baby at this point without wanting to wail. It's gotten better I suppose since during those first two weeks I was contemplating selling everything, not going to school, and being a SAHM. A part of me is still intrigued by that but I know it's not realistic for many reasons. Since I have to work at some point and have pretty much ruled out everything else the only thing that makes sense is for me to go through with this whole medicine thing. It's crazy how it's no longer priority number one in my life. And I admit that I worry about how well I will do given that fact. But I keep telling myself that other parents do it and that somehow I will figure out how to make it work. It's going to be difficult but in a way I will actually be able to be with the baby more so than if I were working full-time. Classes start at 9 but end at 3 or noon twice a week (and closer to 5 the other two days). They are taped and posted online so after a while I will probably skip them and study on my own. It's definitely easier to be truant at school than at work, so hopefully I won't die from missing my daughter.

On the music front things are honestly not going right now. But the desire for it is slowly coming back. I did play once since the baby was born and it was bad, but not as bad as I feared. I am hoping that in the next month I can start practicing again. I am aiming for just 15 minutes a day to start. Maybe Toyin can bring me a new reed when she comes to meet the baby *sends wishful thoughts across the internet void*.

No comments: