Weird source of inspiration

I feel like I haven't posted in forever! I was very busy with midterms last week. My, were they bad! It's interesting how you can get into a study groove and not notice the days go by. It's only after you're done and in the process of de-stressing that you realize how sucky it was to be preparing for exams for two weeks. I started early enough with Organic Chemistry yet I still ran out of time. I studied right up until the end and ended up with a B+ by the skin of my teeth. My Biology grade isn't in yet. I'm afraid to look at it considering the cram job I pulled (yet again). I VOWED this time to stay on top of Biology! It should finally get more interesting now that were are going to do development.

I'm still liking Organic Chemistry quite a lot. And I do enjoy the lab course too. It's come to the point where I need to seriously consider graduate studies at least as a possibility. I am still completely intimidated by the idea of being a scientist, but sometimes when I think about my strengths I wonder if it would be a better fit for me than physician. Then again I've really been enjoying my volunteering at the OB/GYN clinic. When I am there I am always humbled and honored by the trust the patients place on me (and I'm a nobody still!). I can definitely see and feel myself being a physician someday. But I am *still* afraid that the price might be too great. I MUST be reassured that I can still pursue my oboe studies to a degree which fulfills me.

I had a lesson last week, in the middle of midterm craziness. I scheduled it this way on purpose to force myself to keep up with the instrument. I ended up taking too many days off during my last round of exams. This worked out really well and I mean to keep it up from now on. I did manage to practice every day during the craziness even if it was only for a short while.

The lesson turned out much better than I expected. I had warned my teacher that I wouldn't have new reeds to bring in and so we skipped the usual reed business. This allowed me to play much more than usual which was good. She noted some improvement with the embouchure and having slightly more control. She wants me to keep working on developing flexibility (pitchwise and dynamics).

We ended up playing duets during the lesson and it was great fun! She had assigned those duets for me a while back (in October). I had sight read them during a class but I was still playing quite out of tune so we didn't really try to perform them together. This time we played them together and it was very exciting for me. Once I got over my nerves I was able to play with some expression. And my intonation is SOOO much better than what it had been in October. My teacher noticed that too and she also said that my sound was great. While playing I did notice that my sound didn't stick out (negatively) like it had a few months back. I want to say that what we played sounded like "real music".

She assigned me quite a few more duets for next time as well as three other little etudes to prepare. This is a big shift from what we had been doing where I was playing basically no music at all. What does this mean? Is this just a little break? Or am I finally at the point where I am ready to play more than just long tones? She does still want me to work on the same basics but she says she wants me to incorporate it into these easy pieces. She did also mention that she has another adult student who is looking for people to play with. Interesting development.

Today I attended an orchestra rehearsal at my husband's school. Their orchestra is quite small and mostly made of community members not students. The lady who is playing second oboe there has only been playing for 2 years. I was pretty shocked. As much as I want to be playing with others already, I don't want to rush things unless it's going to be good for my growth. But I couldn't help but feel that I could certainly do at least as well as they were doing. I had already practice some today but when I got home I ended up practicing my duets for another hour. I think it was the very best playing I have done yet! I think I was inspired by future possibilities. My dream is still very much alive!